Bill Dalton: An educated guess

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Elections provide wonderful opportunities to discuss all sorts of fascinating issues with your friends and family.

Like how stupid everyone is who doesn’t agree with your political views.

Or how you now feel uncomfortable attending family get-togethers because — pick your poison — drunken Uncle Ralph still loves Donald Trump, or hot flashing Aunt Matilda still thinks Kamala Harris would have made a swell president.

But elections also provide a great opportunity to talk about conspiracy theories. Who doesn’t love a good conspiracy theory, right?

Well, I must confess I don’t believe in 99.9% of the conspiracy theories floating around the Internet nowadays.

So, it’s completely out of character for me to start a conspiracy theory of my own.

Psssst. Have you ever noticed how Republicans seem determined to destroy our educational system? Uh huh. Ever wonder why?

Trump really hates the Department of Education — so much so that he’s trying to eliminate it. Trump also hates woke higher education, attacking and defunding some of our most prestigious universities. He’s proposed slashing research grants for the National Institutes of Health and is hassling all sorts of scientists.

At the secondary level of education, many Republicans denounce public schools. They support “vouchers” or giving tax dollars to private schools and homeschooling by unqualified parents. Robert F. Kennedy Jr., the secretary of Health and Human Services, doesn’t want children to be vaccinated so they can infect other kids with preventable diseases and miss out on learning how to read and write.

I could go on and on about the Republican onslaught on education, but the big question is: Why?

Once upon a time, everyone agreed that education was a good thing. The more, the better. A mind is a terrible thing to waste, remember? So why would anyone want to kneecap our educational system, especially institutions of higher learning that attract talented students from around the world?

Well, here’s my conspiracy theory: Because they don’t want you to vote. Because you might vote for Democrats.

For years, political scientists have maintained that Republicans are a minority party. Historically, they have difficulty winning elections with large turnouts. That’s why lately they have done everything they can to suppress voter turnout.

Trump is Exhibit A. He has cast doubt on election integrity with false claims on 440 days of his second term — more than 70% of his days in office, according to a tally by The New York Times.

He wants voters to mistrust our electoral system — even though he got elected twice (three times in his twisted mind). He wants voters to reject mail-in voting — even though he does it himself — because he wants you to think making it easier to vote makes it easier to rig elections.

Why would a guy who’s been elected twice and votes by mail himself want you to doubt the integrity of our elections? So you’ll think it’s a waste of time and stay home.

Exhibit B in my conspiracy theory: The 2024 presidential election.

In that election, voter turnout varied by education. The more educated you were, the more likely you were to vote, with 82.5% of those with advanced degrees going to the polls, compared to 77.2% with a bachelor’s degree.

However, only a little more than half — 52.5% — of high school graduates voted. For whatever reasons, high school grads just don’t vote as much as those with more education.

So, if Republicans can discourage college attendance, they can suppress voter turnout even more, increasing their chances of winning future elections.

Now, I’m not arguing that the more educated you are the more likely you are to vote for Democrats. (That probably would get me beat up.) But I am arguing that the more educated you are, the more likely you are to vote, period.

The fewer people voting, the better for Republicans. Which may explain why ICE is suddenly trying to arrest about 3,000 people a day and deport them before the election, not to mention shooting a handful of others.

As conspiracy theories go, I admit mine isn’t very sexy. It would be better if it involved the intrigue of a foreign government. Or Elon Musk manipulating returns via Starlink. Or billionaire, prankster aliens just messing with us.

But as conspiracy theories go, it might just simply be that, if Republicans can keep future generations from going to college, they’ve got a better shot at staying in power.

Good for them! But not good for America.

My mother got as far as the 10th grade before she dropped out to help support her family during the Great Depression. My father dropped out when he was 17 to join the Navy during World War II. (He later got his veteran’s diploma and attended a year of college.)

Both of my parents encouraged me to get a good education, and even though they couldn't afford it, I was the first person in our family to graduate from college. It was the smartest thing I have ever done.

And it’s why my silly conspiracy theory makes me angry as hell.

Wife: Let me get this straight. You think Republicans are trying to keep us dumb so that we’ll vote Democrat?

Me: Uh, you obviously misunderstood. They’re just trying to discourage us from voting at all.

Wife: Then Republican candidates shouldn’t run those TV ads telling us their opponents are communists, pedophiles and jihadists.

Me: You probably should turn off the TV when those ads come on and pour yourself a glass of wine.

Wife: But they make me angry and want to do something – like vote. Twice.

Me: What do you call someone who doesn’t pay attention to politics?

Wife: I don't know, what?

Me: Happy.

— Bill Dalton is a former reporter and editor for The Kansas City Star and worked for several Michigan newspapers. He spends summers on the family farm near Fennville. His novel “The Bank Game” is available from Amazon along with “Dalton’s Bend.”

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