Bill Dalton: It's like y'know

EDITOR'S NOTE: The views and opinions expressed are those of the writer and not of Ottawa News Network.

Maybe it’s only, like, me, but have you, like, noticed lots of, like, people today — especially younger people — can’t, like, complete a thought or, like, say an entire sentence without, like, using the word “like” about, like, a dozen times?

Is it, like, just me? Or is it, like, a thing?

It struck me, like, the other day while I was, like, watching the local TV news describing the latest, like, officer-involved shooting and, like, someone getting, like, killed.

The 20-something, like, reporting live from, like, the scene used the word, like, I don’t know, like, almost every other word.

I understand that it was, like, live TV and all, but, like, come on, they’re professionals (like, they get paid, right?) so they should, like, know what they’re, like, doing, right?

Anyway, it went something like: “Authorities said the suspect, like, was involved in a violent altercation, like, with a person of interest who, like, called 911 and when police, like, arrived on the scene they were, like, forced to, like, shoot the suspect dead.”

It annoys me when I hear the word "like" so many times, probably because it brings back painful, like, memories from when I was, like, in junior high school.

Back then, if you were, like, attracted to a certain girl or guy, you’d ask, like, a friend to find out if they, you know, “liked” you. You’d spend a few anxious, like, days waiting for the answer when finally your friend would, like, tell you that, like, sorry dude, she doesn’t.

By then you didn’t, like, care because you already were, like, hot for some other girl, or guy, depending on your likes and dislikes.

Long ago, people would um, use the word “um” (is um, like, even a word?) instead of, like, to, like, fill in that um awkward, like, pause when, like, your um brain was, like, unable to um keep up, like, with your um mouth.

At least, it um seemed that way, but it was, like, um, so long ago that I can’t um really, like, remember.

So, I’m like wondering when did “like” overtake “um” as a silence filler? And why is "like" now preferable to "um?"

What was, like, wrong with "um" anyway? Like, I don’t um, get it. Um was a perfectly fine sound to fill dead air while you’re um, like, searching for the right um, um, um … word.

But who, like, gets to, like, decide these things anyway? And why does, like, everybody, like, do it? Especially younger um people. Are they, like, copying the speech patterns of, like, other young people?

Is anybody, like, researching this? Because, um, I’d sure like to know why it’s, like, such a contagious verbal phenomenon.

Would anyone else, um, like, to know? Or is it, like, not that annoying for, like, you?

So, then it’s, like, just me? That’s um, what I thought. Perfect.

Look, I’m sorry I, like, brought it up. Like, just um pretend you never read this and, like, get on with your, um, life.

But if you, like, don’t mind, would you, like, please leave a “liked” at the end of this um column and, like, let me know if um, you like stuff like this or if it's, like, sorry dude, um … you suck.

Perfect.

— Bill Dalton is a former reporter and editor for The Kansas City Star. He spends summers on the family farm near Fennville. His novel “The Bank Game” — a crime thriller — is available from Amazon, along with “Dalton’s Bend.”

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